


Let Me In

by Pooks79



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-22
Updated: 2013-07-22
Packaged: 2017-12-20 23:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/893083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pooks79/pseuds/Pooks79
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An emotional/Lemon one shot inspired by the song “I want to come over” by Melissa Etheridge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me In

JPOV

I watch you through my apartment window. I can see that he hurt you. He screams and swings his arms and tells you how inadequate you are, how you aren’t who you used to be and that your allegations of him being with other women are outlandish. I slam my hand on the window frame, my need to save you outweighing my conscious telling me to mind my own business. I question my reasoning. Why should I sit here while he continues to hurt you knowing all the while I could love you better? I want to come over so badly, my body continues to tremble with anger and guilt as I watch this scene play out before my eyes. 

Our one night together was unlike any other and yet you deny me your heart because you said it was just one night and nothing more. You fail to realize that there have been many nights similar however it was your heart I was caressing and now your body. I burn with this insatiable need to touch you, to tell you how much I love you.   
Like an obedient dog, I obey your request to stay in the shadows in an effort not to threaten your already crumbling life. I wish nothing more than to be the sledge hammer that finally breaks your already fractured foundation and force you to see you deserve better, you deserve me.

My breathing is labored, my chest rising and falling as the sight before my eyes causes me to want to jump through the window, swing open your front door and demand you see me as more than you already do. It was true we meant under normal circumstances when you needed just someone to understand your desire to be validated. You wanted someone to tell you how pretty you were and how you deserved better and I was that knight in shining armor, comforting you when no one else would. 

Your friends and even your parents had given up on you long ago stating that if you made your bed you were forced to sleep in it but you were growing tired of the harsh springs and sleepless nights. You wanted a warm bed, one you could sleep in and feel like there was nowhere else you wanted to be.

I understood that and offered you my bed, a place to sleep, eat, do as you saw fit just as long as you guaranteed me you were happy. From the first moment I laid eyes on you, all I wanted was for you not to hurt anymore, not to cry every night like you had done since first we met. I couldn’t help that my heart reached out to you. You are so weak, easy manipulated because you think what you have is love but I know better. I know you are worth far more than you give yourself credit for and I had just about enough of seeing him tare you down as if you were less deserving of his affections. 

I turned away unable to watch you go through this yet again. This marked the fifth night in a row you pleaded for him to understand it was jealousy and not mistrust that made you question him when you should have told him to get the fuck out. This bastard was nothing more than a user and you knew it, yet you clung to him like a moth to a flame, pledging your allegiance to him like he was the fucking pinnacle of manliness. 

Your weakness angered me but yet it made me want more than anything to show you what a real man looked like. 

You saw in me what I saw in you. You knew it the first day we met and you’ve been denying it ever since.

We visited the same laundry mat just a few blocks down the road. You were folding your laundry while I was washing mine. I paid you no mind really keeping to myself as I normally had countless times before. I heard you whimper as you stared at his shirt, the collar full of lipstick and perfume, your anger and hurt spreading across your face and filling your body so intensely you nearly lost you footing and fell. I was quick to your rescue, catching you before your body hit the floor. I stared into your eyes. I felt your soul plead with mine for mercy. It was as if in that moment I knew I had to help you, save you from your life before it claimed the very essence that made you unique. 

You were thankful but standoffish. You wiped the tears from your eyes and didn’t give me a second glance, throwing the shirt and few items you had to wash into the washer machine beside you. I took your dismissal as just normal New York behavior and went about my business. You can imagine my surprise when you sat beside me and whispered your apology for being so crass. I accepted and offered you a tissue I always stashed in my back pocket just in case my allergies acted up.

You laughed at how “prepared” I was and we got to talking. Our laundry had long been done but you and I were so engaged we did even notice. We met several times a week, doing laundry more often than anything else just to earn another secret meeting to talk. You told me about your life and how much you wished things were different. I offered a friendly ear knowing you needed it more than anything else. I fell more and more in love with you each time we met. I started to see a side to you that I’m sure he never took the time to see. I learned of your hobbies, job, family and personal goals and found myself wanting to help you meet them. But aside from wanting to make you a better person, I wanted to make you see you deserved better and that better was me.

I gave you my number and told you to call me if and whenever you needed someone. I knew you had no one to talk to otherwise you would have never engaged me. It’s not common to engage a total strange and tell them your personal dealings, not in a city like this. I knew you saw something in me just like I saw something in you. 

One night you called me in tears, your heart broken, your body weak and your mind lost to a sea of doubt and despair. I pleaded with you to give me your address and when you had, I was completely surprised you lived right across the street and I never noticed. I was at your door in less than five minutes. I lifted my hand to knock but you had already released the lock. When you appeared before me so broken, so used, so hurt all I could do was pull you into my arms. I held you as your body trembled within my embrace, your warm tears wetting my shirt and your sobs so violent I thought at one point I might lose my hold on you. I whispered how sorry I was that he hurt you as if I had caused the pain myself. All I wanted to do was take it away, make you smile as you had when you were with me.

I knew you were too weak to walk, your body still violently trembling within my arms so I picked you up and carried you over to the sofa. I held you for hours just letting you cry it out. It killed me to know he hurt you so much and yet you took the blame onto yourself as if you had any control over his crazy actions. I thought it wise not to engage but just listen. You just needed someone to hear you out, understand that you weren’t crazy and that you still loved him. I died a little each time when I heard you promise to do better, be better for him. He didn’t deserve you and you sure as hell deserved better. 

After several hours when your body simmered, I went to move off the couch but was stopped by your hands clutching tightly to my shirt. I turned back and saw the fear of loneliness in your eyes. I conceded to your need immediately, moving back between you and the cushions, pulling you tightly into my arms. Your head rested comfortable on my shoulder, my eyes faced forward as I ran my hands continuously down your hair trying to keep you calm. I felt your breath on my neck and fought hard not to take advantage of the situation. It was so tempting and yet I knew I would be no better than he was if I manipulated the situation.

When your lips touched my skin, my body caught on fire. My pulse raced, my heart stopped and the very air got hitched in my throat. I knew you were vulnerable and just needed to feel anything other than the pain induced comma you were presently in. I fought my heart and told myself you were worth more to me than just a condolence fuck. I wanted more. I wanted to love you and this was not the way I wanted it to be. I wanted you to come to me and tell me I was the one you needed and that you left him for me.

When your hand brushed under my shirt and tugged, I tried to fight you and you took that as rejection instead of me being cautious. You insecurities were immediate when you responded and asked me if I found you attractive. Of course I found you attractive so I nodded and hoped that settled your unease mind. Unfortunately it didn’t seem to be enough as you continued to question me like I was the one that deserved your fury. You asked me why if I found you attractive did I not want you and I told you I wanted you more than you could possibly imagine but not like this. You pushed off me in a heated fury and stormed to the other side of the room, angry that I wouldn’t give in to your pity advances and asked me to leave. I knew you were angry and fuck if I wasn’t angry at myself for not taking advantage of the one opportunity I had to show you what love truly felt like.

I stood up and without saying a word turned and walked towards the door. Just as my hand reached for the handle something went off in my head. You were the one that asked me here and now because I wouldn’t have sex with you, you were going to ask me to leave. I turned to face you, my eyes burning with a mixture of hurt and desire. You turned your back to me and repeated your request for me to leave.

I decided in that moment that I needed to show you, prove to you there was more to life than empty promises and fleeting moments of happiness. I stood behind you and pulled you into my chest. I took your arm and raised it up; turning your hand awkwardly towards my chest. I rested your palm on my overactive heart and whispered “Do you feel this   
Bella? This is a heart that longs to be with you. Let me show you happiness. Let me show you what it means to truly love someone. Let me in”

You gave into my need to make you feel whole. Our bodies gave in to the mixture of anger, lust, desire and longing we had felt since the very beginning. I knew you needed me and I was willing to give everything I had to be what you needed. I had hoped you would wake up and realize that the passion we shared was enough but instead you ran from me, hid in the bathroom crying behind the locked door. I pleaded and begged for you to let me in, to let me be there for you but you whimpered that I should leave and so I did. 

I broke many plates and slammed my fists through several walls that morning. I never heard from you again after that and our routine meetings at the laundry mate ceased as well. 

I thought you might have felt guilty for actually feeling a hint of happiness and would rather rot in your miserable existence than be with me. I was angered at myself for giving you everything I had but yet I still wanted you. Call me a sucker, pussy, glutton for punishment, I didn’t care. I would have you again; it was only a matter of time.

I glanced out my window and watched you day after day crying and pleading with me as you stood looking out your window. At some point I thought you were looking right at me but then I remembered you never asked where I lived so there would be no way you knew I was there. I wanted to come over so bad and yet I felt held back by fear. I was afraid you wouldn’t want me. You took what you needed and where too weak to give any of you in return. You faint whispers as I held you that night trickled through my mind. You told me you loved me. I knew you were probably under some delusional dream state thinking I was him but I wanted to believe you really did love me. 

I turned back unable to keep my eyes away from you very long and watched as he stormed out, appeared at the main entrance a few moments later and then speed off. I turned to the phone hoping you would call any minute to ask me to come over but the apartment remained silent. I waited and waited and you still just stood there, lifeless and empty staring out into the night, broken to pieces. My hunger for you continued to grow as I watched you fall to your knees and start to cry. I decided fuck with waiting and made my way over to your apartment.

I stood in front of your door, my hand risen and ready to strike and before I could lower to bang, the door creaked open. I wondered if you knew I was coming or if the asshole left it open on his way out. The reason was of no consequence; I pushed it open and found you huddled on the floor. I took several large strides and was beside you in minutes. 

You didn’t fight me like I thought you would. You turned into my chest and apologized for things you had never done and things you wished you had done a long time ago. I could feel your pain, your body shaking and twitching in my arms while you mouth hung opened as you cried. 

I pulled you from the floor and carried you into the bedroom. I placed you softly on the comforter and before I could move away you tugged at my shirt and whispered “Stay with me”. I had no intentions of leaving but I could see your need to not feel rejected more than you already had. I leaned down and pressed my lips to your forward and replied “always”. My words seemed to calm you and allow me the freedom to go back into the living room and lock the front door. 

I returned to find you still in the fetal position and shivering as if it was below normal temperatures in the room. I slid in behind you and pulled your body into mine. You were quick to turn and face me, your need for acceptance and love written all over your weathered face. I knew what you wanted to hear but just like you, I feared rejection. I couldn’t take your denial of our mutual feelings anymore than you could take another day of punishment.

My hand rose from my side and cupped your face, my thumbs rubbing soft circles into your cheeks as your eyes searched deep within mine. I knew what you were looking for. I knew what you needed. It was all a matter of you letting your guard down and realizing I’m everything and more.

I go to speak but your finger is quick to silence me with your tender touch. I pucker my lips and kiss your delicate skin, my desire to have you again far outweighing the tenderness you required at that very moment. I shift slightly forward my lips mere inches from yours as I whisper “let me in.”

I feel your body wrestling slightly beside me, the fear of yet another rejection is more than I can bear even from you. I pull away but you’re quick to take claim of my lips with your own not allowing me to move from my rested position. Your mouth moves slowly at first and as you body presses against mine and forces me onto my back, I can feel your feverishly hot lips searching for the one thing you never had, love. 

My hands slowly stroke your back as you moan into our kiss. “Please…I need you to…” Your desperate plea only excites and drives me to roll you onto you back and brace my arms on either side of you. Your hand rises and your fingers caress my heated cheeks while your eyes wait for my answer. Minutes seemed to long for you to wait, so your soft hands hook around my neck and force me down, my lips clashing with yours in a heated fury. My body runs a fever, my desire and love for you running rabid through my veins as my hands unbutton your jeans and move beneath your satin panties.

“Please Jake, show me you need me. I need you to take the pain away” you moan and for a second I’m inclined to stop. I don’t want to just be a band aid. I want to be the new skin that grows over your exposed wounds. I want to be more than just your lover and protector; I want to be the man that shows you that happiness is not just a luxury.

I move my lips down from yours, kissing around your jaw and onto the nap of your neck. I whisper what I need to hear, what I’ve longed to hear but I’m desperate to hear more than just those three words. I need to know you feel them too. I need to know you want this just as much as I do. “Tell me you love me” I whisper as I continuously kiss your neck and await a response.

Your body arches into my chest and I can feel the heat of your arousal and your need for me through your tight denim jeans. I lace my demands again, my mind firm but losing its resolve each time I feel your wetness against me. “I need to know…tell me Bella…tell me this means more than what it seems.”

My teeth sink into the softness of your neck. You moan in a mixture of pain and arousal, your hands scooping under my arms and pressing the weight of my body onto you. You moan my name and then what follows “I need you” sends me into a downward spiral of desire and an unrelenting need to make you whole. 

I press my lips firmly against yours as my hands scour your body and remove the clothing that keeps us from feeling each other’s heat because I’ve never craved someone as much as I do you. 

When we last got lost in this blinded lovers fury, my need to taste you, devour your richness and bury myself within your pristine wet walls was so dire, I didn’t take the time to admire your beauty. You were truly so beautiful in your nature state. Your hair was soft and shiny as it ran down your shoulders and rested just shy of your perfectly plump breast. 

My eyes continued to take you in as my desire for you grew restless within my pants. I knew what I craved but I wouldn’t deny myself this moment again, this moment to truly take in what I was sure to be mine after tonight.

I feel your hand come up and meet my forearm. I hadn’t noticed how long I was lost in your radiance until you alerted me to it. I refocused my attention on you, lowering my body down and taking your lips into my own while I slid my fingers between your wet folds. You moaned into our kiss, my name spilling ever so softly as I moved a second finger to meet the first. Your body was so tight, so in need of release it made me ache with a need to fill you completely.

As if you could read my thoughts and feel my bodies need, you whisper “I want to feel all of your Jake. I want to feel you fill me, show me what love feels like.” 

I move my lips off yours taking your bottom lip within my teeth as I descend to your neck. I leave a wet trail of a mixture of tongue and kisses until my mouth is filled with your tender breast. I shift my weight a little so I can remove my jogging pants off with ease while keeping you wet and eager for what I’m about to give to you. Your fingers lace through my hair, pulling at the ends as I lick and nip at your erect pebble, its peach color turning slightly red as I suck it rough and then caress it smooth with my tongue.

“Please…I need you so bad” you beg as you continuously pull at my hair trying to force me to move back up and reclaim your lips. My heart aches as I hear you beg and plead for my affections when little do you know there is no begging needed. I would be everything and anything for you but right now, all I wanted was to make you whole. 

I slid up and take your lips back and with it I thrust into you. Your body hitches while your thighs wrap around my waist. I move slowly at first, your body is so tight and your walls continuously expand and contract around me, your need milking my very essence with each thrust of my hips.

“Oh God more” you plea and like your humble servant I obey. I remove your hands from behind my head and forcing them to your sides. I lace my fingers within yours as I increase my rhythm and force you scream out how good I feel. I bite down on my lower lip as my release starts to form. I don’t want to meet mine before you reach yours so I lean down and whisper “Cream for me Bella” and as if your body knew its true master, your body convulsed beneath me spilling your heated love all over my throbbing member. 

I hooked my arms underneath yours and brought your weak body into my chest as I slid my legs beneath your ass so you were now seated on top of me. I bucked my hips so your body bounced off me like a rubber ball against a brick wall. You kept your hands locked in your hair pulling and moaning how close you were to having another violent release. My mouth watered at the thought so I moved faster not caring if I met my release before you but strangely your body knew when to let go and let go it did. I felt the heat of your passion drip over me and so my body met your release with one of my own. I bit down on your neck marking what was mine while my body did the same deep within you.

I continued to move within you until our bodies began to settle. Your sweated brow rested on my shoulder while mine rested on yours. I ran my finger tips up and down your back and waited. I waited to hear you say those three words and this time they would be followed with forever. 

I felt you sigh into my neck. I knew that sigh and I knew rejection and this was starting to feel a lot like it. I felt your body start to pull away and that’s when I reacted. I held you firmly, caging you into my chest and not allowing you to go until you told me what I deserved to hear. “No more running Bella.”

You sigh again and your response is faint but I can feel the intensity and power behind your words by the sheer tremble in your body as you whimper them “I’m scared Jake. I’m afraid this isn’t real. You’re not real. I mean…what are the chances I meet my soul mate in a laundry mat? I just don’t believe this is possible. I don’t believe how much I care for you even though I deny I feel anything but guilt.”

The weight of your pain rests heavily on my shoulders and for a moment I have the need to look into your eyes and see if you really feel for me the way you indirectly say you do. I lean back and pull your face into the palms of my hands, our eyes shifting left to right looking for all the right things to say and knowing exactly what needs to be said for this insecurity to melt away.

“Bella…I don’t believe in love at first sight. I think it’s something parents used to tell their kids to make them sleep better at night. What I do believe is what I feel and what I feel is real. I don’t know what you did but when I saw you that night in the laundry mat so broken and so in need of someone to be there, I knew I wanted to be that one. I want to love you and make you feel like everything would be ok. He doesn’t deserve you and he can’t love you like I can.”

Your eyes continued to beam into mine, the glistening of tears glossing over your pleading stare as if you felt the same connection but where in complete denial of its existence. I could see you were torn between what you needed and what you thought you wanted. I didn’t want to cause you pain. I didn’t want to add to the burden you already had on your shoulders that seemed to make your body even heavier in my arms. 

You went to speak but before you could usher a word I placed my finger over your lips to silence you. “Please don’t. I see the apology in your eyes. I see how you fight between what your heart feels and what you know to be love. Feel me Bella…” I whisper as I pull your hand and place it on my heart, “Feel what you do to me, how you make me feel and tell me you don’t feel the same. Tell me you want me to leave and I will, not because I want to but because that’s what you need from me.”

I knew my reveal was a lot for you to take in. I tried not to be selfish and force you to say something you didn’t feel yet. I pulled your hand away and held it for a moment, my eyes pleading for you to look deep and stop denying what you know you really needed from me. After a chilled silence, I moved away and got dressed. I knew it was a lot asking you for something you didn’t give so freely and when you finally had, he took it and trampled all over it, burning you from ever feeling that way again. 

When I was fully dressed, I felt the heat of your naked body against my back. I closed my eyes at the feel of your touch. I knew I would miss it, ache for it and bleed for it if only to know it was mine. Your hands came around my waist as you leaned your cheek against my back. Your warm tears broke my resolve. I didn’t want to cause you pain and yet here I was trying to do the right thing and yet you still cried for me. 

When I went to turn, your hands held me tighter, forcing me to stand still. “I don’t know what this is Jake but I know I want to take the time to find out. He left me because I told him I had found someone new. I tried to deny the feelings I felt when we were together but I couldn’t. All I could think about was you, all I want is you. Please just give me time and I promise I will find my way back to you.”

I couldn’t help but smile. I knew this was your way of letting me in, your way of letting me know you did love me. I didn’t need to hear the words. I felt you more deeply just by you admittance to the instant connection we felt the first day we met. 

I wasn’t sure where we would go from here or when you would actually say those three precious words to me but I was a patient man. I would wait forever and a day for you because you had already held the key to my heart.


End file.
